icsf Tragic Cards
...anyone for a game?...
This collection was put together as a spoof on a popular card game (which far too many of the commitee play. Its something of an ongoing project, so further card ideas (in correct 'Tragic syntax') are welcome.
Be warned - these pages have a *lot* of images.. (about 400K each)
The full text of the cards follows:
Tragic Cards - Photontypes
Fish and the revolution for ever!!
B - Black
W - White
R - Red
U - Blue
G - Green
icsf Library
WU2 Enchant Land
2T: Draw a card
T: Prevent all damage to target Committee Member until end of turn.
During your upkeep, if there are no Committee Members in play remove icsf Library from game.
"Trying to get icsf members out of the library, is like trying to get children on acid out of a toy factory." - Phil
icsf Committee Card
4 Artifact
T: Target creature counts as a Committee Member until end of turn.
"I'll do it, but only if I get a committee card!" - Farrar
Union Promise
0 Enchantment
Cumulative upkeep: 1
May be played when you could play an instant.
Target permanent phases out, target permanent does not phase in while Union Promise remains in play.
"They faithfully promised us it would be here by yesterday!" - Hack
Next Year's Committee
W2 Sorcery
All non-Apathetic Freshers in play gain 0/+2 and count as Committee Members.
"Resistance is useless..."
Union Curry
B1 Enchant Creature
Cumulative Upkeep:1
Target creature takes 0/-2 and does not untap while Union Curry is in play.
"This Union Curry actually looks edible." - Hack
Curry Strike!
BB1 Enchantment
T: Hold Union Curry Strike 2 meters above the playing area, release. Any cards touched by Union Curry Strike when it stops phases out.
"Three sheep curries please - and a vomit bag."
Big Bob
GGG5 Summon Committee Legend
7/7
Trample, may not be blocked by less than 2 creatures. Pubwalk.
T: Bring in 1/1 Bobling token. Treat as a green creature with pubwalk.
Sacrifice Bobling token: prevent 1 damage to Big Bob.
"Err.. It's a bit BIG" - Bob
ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha Member
B1 Summon ZZ9 Member
1/1 ZZ9 Member may not attack.
T: Tap target Committee Member.
"All you need is a pair of Y fronts if you're feeling shy."
ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha Meeting
B2 Enchant Pub
Cumulative Upkeep: 1
Tap target Pub, it does not untap whilst ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha Meeting remains in play.
"Run away, run away..."
Simon
BWRGU Summon Legend
3/4
3T: Search through your library, display target card and place on top of your library.
"Can't organise a brewery in a piss up" - Phil
Hack
RR3 Summon Committee Legend
1/2
T Sacrifice a creature: deal damage equal to its power to target creature or player.
"Just point him in the right direction and let him rant!" - Karne
Sandwich Shop
G2 Enchantment
2: Prevent 1 point of damage to target creature or player.
1: Prevent 1 point of damage to target creature or player (after 4 pm)
"Get to know this place, burn it into your mind." - Senior Committee Member
Finnegan's Wake
Pub (Land)
T: Gain G
GGT: Put Guinness token on target creature. Target gains phasing.
Queen's Arms
Pub (Land)
T: Gain B
BT: Gain 1/1 black Cockroach token
Union Bar
Pub (Land)
T: Gain 1
5T: Target ICU member player misses next turn.
Southside Bar
Pub (Land)
T: Gain B
2T: Fire Alarm. Tap all freshers.
The Dead Nurse
Pub (Land)
T: Gain W
2T:Lose (destroy) target fresher
Queen's Tower
5 Artifact
T: Target creature you control gains flying and +5/+0, remove from game at end of turn.
"Rumour has it that all other students get an A"
'Ton Meet
R3 Sorcery
Creatures may not attack or block until the end of turn.
"Turn up, eat steak, get pissed, climb lamp-posts.."
Burger King
R2 Enchantment
T: Gain 1 burger token.
Remove 1 burger token: prevent 1 damage to target creature.
"Can I have 30 Whoppers and a regular Pepsi, please?" - Bushbaby
KFR
R3 Sorcery
Destroy target creature.
"The Kernel's best." - Bob
Karne 'th karnica
BB4
Summon Committee Legend
Counts as a Elder Dragon and Ex-Chair
If another Ex-Chair is in play take -1/-1
5/5 Flying
3: gain control of target dragon until end of turn
"Not enough snake in my ancestry" - Karne
Jez
6 Artifact
Protection from Red
All black, purple and white creatures gain +1/+1
3/3
"She can sure suck HARD" - Stuart
Random Video
B1 Sorcery
Tap all Committee Members or all Freshers.
"Put something interesting on.."
"like a negligée?"
B5 Video
U2 Sorcery
Tap ALL creatures in play.
"Abso-fragging-lutely damnit" - Delenn
Theta
B2 Enchant Creature
Target creature takes -4/+5
"How can something that long with a bulb at the bottom not be a he?!" - Farrar
Adam
WWW
2/2 Summon Committee Legend
If bob also in play ignore effects of ALL Guinness tokens
T: Rub hair: Deal 1 point of static shock damage to target creature or player.
"Fwufffy Llama" - hl
Chemistry Lab Experiment
RR1 Enchant Creature
Whenever creature attacks or blocks, throw a die;
5 or 6: deal 4 damage to all attacking and blocking creatures.
"Ether distillations are seriously evi.. BOOM!"
Physics Lab Experiment
B Instant
Target creature stops what it is doing and does nothing until end of turn.
"Bloody Black Box! Fucking thing won't work" - any 3rd year phys student
Biology Lab Experiment
G Enchant Land
At the beginning of each turn, throw a die;
6 gain D6 1:1 Tribble tokens that count as green creatures
5 gain 1 1:1 Tribble token that counts as a green creature.
4 all your opponents gain 1 Tribble token
3 all your opponents gain D6 Tribble tokens
1 or 2 remove Biology Experiment from the game.
"emp.. emp... emp.."
Engineer's Nightmare
B2 Enchantment
ALL creatures become artifact creatures but retain all other abilities
"Resistance is futile" - Borg
ChairEntity
B3 Enchant Creature
Creature counts as Committee Member and gains;
T: All Committee Members gain banding until end of turn.
"Unpleasant job but someone has to do it"
ViceChairThing
W3 Enchant Creature
Creature counts as Committee Member and gains;
T: (Ex) ChairEntity takes no damage until the end of turn.
"Chair of Vice" - Ed
"Sounds uncomfortable" - Karne
Treasurer
B3 Enchant Creature
Creature counts as Committee Member and gains;
T: Gain 2 mana points of any colour.
"NO Pratchett!" - Bob
Librarian
G3 Enchant Creature
Creature counts as Committee Member and gains;
T: Gain control of icsf Library while Librarian remains tapped. You may choose not to untap Librarian at the beginning of your turn.
"Tidy Up Damn It!" - Karne
Publicity Officer
R3 Enchant Creature
Creature counts as Committee Member and gains;
T:put a 1:1 white Keen Fresher token into play under your control.
"Blue Tac collection our speciality"
Secretary
U2 Enchant Creature
Creature counts as Committee Member and gains;
3T:phase out all Committee Members.
" " <scribble>
Web Editor
B2 Enchant Creature
Creature counts as Committee Member and is tapped.
Creature does not tap during controllers untap phase.
"I hate this job"
Committee Meeting
W3 Enchant Land
Cumulative Upkeep: 1
Committee Members may not attack.
2T:Target Creature becomes a Committee Member and gains +1/+1
"All bow down and worship Bob" - Meeting Minutes
Alex McLintock
WW2
Summon Committee Legend
Counts as Ex-Chair
All Committee Members get -1:-1
2/2
"Ah Alex you were here when mascotry was still alive" - Bob
Robin Hill
BB1
Summon Committee Legend
Counts as Ex-Chair
2/2
T: Target creature or player sees Robin's Dj and takes 1 damage.
"Look it's a porn film star!" - in bar
Bushbaby
G3
Summon Committee Legend
2/3 phasing
1T: bring a 1:1 green Sapling token into play.
"No! Not the foot toffee!" - Bushbaby
ShadowCat
BG4
Summon Committee Legend
Counts as Cat.
3/5
During controller's upkeep, Shadowcat gains either shadow or flying until beginning of controller's next upkeep.
"Where's my whip?" - Liz
Freshers' Fair
WW2 Enchant Land
Cumulative Upkeep: 1
1T:put an Apathetic Fresher counter in play
2T:put an Eager Fresher counter into play
2T:put a Gullible Fresher into play
3T:put a Keen Fresher counter into play
3T: put an Annoying Fresher counter into play
4T: put a Random Fresher into play
Push for Members
WX Sorcery
Summon X 0/1 Gullible Fresher counters with abilities;
1: Sacrifice Gullible Fresher for 1 mana of any colour
"You want to see the Library? Do you? Do you?"
Little Lost Fresher
R Summon Fresher
0/1 - all damage dealt to Little Lost Fresher is reduced to zero.
Little Lost Fresher may not attack.
Little Lost Fresher may not block wolves.
"I had a lecture at 9:00 - I think.."
Apathetic Fresher
0 Artifact Fresher
If Apathetic Fresher is put in any graveyard, return to owner's hand.
0/1
"So what?"
Eager Fresher
W1 Summon Fresher
T: Casting cost of any spell is reduced by 1
0/1
"Here - get the eager fresher to file this" - Bob
Annoying Fresher
B1 Summon Fresher
0/1
All Committee Members get +1:-1
"Can I kill him? Pleeeaaase?"
Keen Fresher
U1 Summon Fresher
0:1
3:Keen Fresher gains +2:+2 and counts as an Committee member until end of turn.
Random Fresher
3 Artifact Fresher
0:1
WT: prevent all damage to Random Fresher.
BT: deal 1 damage to any creature
R:+1:+1 until end of turn
U: Random Fresher gains flying until end of turn
GT:put an Apathetic Fresher counter into play
Beardy Fresher
G2 Summon Legend
Counts as a Fresher
0:1
Reduce all damage dealt to any creature or player by 2
"Happy chappie isn't he?"
Fresher Revolt
5 Artifact
0:0 When Fresher Revolt comes into play destroy all Freshers - put a +1/+1 counter on Fresher Revolt for each Fresher destroyed in this way.
"The Freshers are revolting! - yes we know..."
Tribble!
G Summon Tribble
TG: Bring a 1/1 Tribble token into play.
1/1
"blbibibibibllmeeep!"
Hours pass
G8 Enchantment
At the beginning of any turn where there is a Tribble in play, remove Tribble and replace with two 1/1 tokens that count as Tribbles.
"Bugger - run for the hills!"
Killer Rabbit
BB2
1/1 Summon Bunny
T: Sacrifice Killer Rabbit to remove target creature from game.
"Sharp pointy teef!" - RUS
Farrar
BW2
1/1 Summon Legend.
Phasing
T: all other creatures phase out.
"join the non fucking club.." <?>
Phil
WW3
1:3 Summon Committee Legend
T: deal 2 points of rant damage to target creature.
T: remove Evvvvvil Phil from the game
"At least in the first one he played with them."
Evvvvvil Phil
BB3
3:1 Summon Committee Legend
T: deal 2 points of rant damage to target player.
T: remove Phil from the game
".meht htiw deyalp eh eno tsrif eht ni tsael tA"
Quake II
R2 Sorcery
Tap up to 5 Committee Members until end of turn.
"She's getting too good at this"- Adam
Coke Machine
R2 Enchantment
2: prevent one damage to target player.
"Caffeine <purrrr>" - Karne
Evil Getna
BW Summon Gestetner
B:Target creature counts as black until the end of turn.
0:3
"Like an angry octopus" - hl
Fred
5 Artifact
1:1
Fred counts as a dragon.
If Fred is removed from play for any reason return Fred to the game under his owners control at the end of the turn.
"And Fred gets four votes.."
Monty Python Video
UUUU Sorcery
All players must try to enact a Monty Python sketch or take 5 damage.
"If it we're nailed to the perch it'd be pushing up t'daisies."
Extreme Randomness!
BWRGU Sorcery
Collect all creatures in play, in hand and in graveyards into one pile, shuffle and deal evenly to all players. Any excess creatures are removed from the game.
"Now try winning/playing."
Flat of icsf
Land
1T: 1 mana of any colour
1T:prevent all damage from one source to target Committee Member.
"Want to get, want to get to.."
Dragon Fetish
R2 Enchant Creature
Target creature becomes a Dragon, gains +2:+2 and flying
"What's wrong with shagging dragons?" - Karne
RSM Bar-Night.
BB1 Sorcery
Destroy all Pubs.
All Guinness tokens leave play.
"It's the RSM bar-night, do you want to go for a drink...I think not"
Bohemian Rhapsody
U2 Sorcery
Sing lyrics to get 4 life, other players that help gain 2 life.
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"
Seraphina.
WB4: Summon Committee Legend
3/3 Flying
T: player says SOD THIS to gain 1 life.
Seraphina phases out if the target of spell or ability
"And even then there were angels in RSM Bearing stupid weapons such as hammers."
Wol
WW3
Summon Committee Member Legend.
2/3
Counts as Owl. Flying.
1: Remove target Tribble from play - gain 1 life.
"Tasty - and good for you too."
Sam
RB Summon Outcast
Mountainwalk
Islandwalk
May not become a Committee Member
1/1
"Back in Rubber again, it feels good!"
Jedi Training
W2 Enchant Creature
Target Creature gains +3/+1 and can't be the target of effects.
"Welcome to the Storm Trooper Training Academy!"
Dark Jedi
BB2 Enchant Creature
Target Creature gains +5/0 and
3: tap target creature
"The Force is strong in this one."
Tribble Overrun
G3 Sorcery
Destroy X Tribbles.
ALL players gain X 1:1green Tribble tokens.
"eieieieieieieieie!"
Poisoned Grain
B3 Enchant Land
Land gains:
T: Destroy ALL but 1 Tribble
"Last Tribble in the known Multiverse - going cheap!" - CMOTD
Tribble Zealot
GG4 Summon Unlikely Legend
Trample
x/x where x is the number of Tribbles in play.
"Now that's just silly!"
Shoggoth Lord - 2 cards
BBB7
0/0 Trample
Sacrifice creature you control of power x and toughness y, to add +x/+y to Shoggoth Lord
Cannot be blocked by creatures with converted cost less than 6
T: destroy target blocker
"But our God has more tentacles than your God!"
Book Collection
WBX Enchant Land
Comes into play with X Book Tokens
Remove Book Token: Tap target creature and give it +1/+1
"Come in, come in - have a look around! - lambs to the slaughter
Exam!
B2 Sorcery
Bury target Committee Member, replace with 1/1 white token that counts as a Burnt-out Fresher.
"grrrr.... dribble"
Tribble Breeding Pit
GG3 Enchantment
1: Sacrifice Tribble you control to bring two 1/1 Tribble tokens into play
"Don't think about it"
Klingon Curse
R3 Enchant Player
All Tribbles target player controls get evenly split amongst his/her opponents. Destroy excess Tribbles.
"snarl...."
Conditioner
G1 Sorcery
Convert ALL Tribbles to 1/1 white sheep tokens.
"Baaarbaric behaviour - poor show, poor show"
Physics Lecture
Enchantment
TW: Tap target creature. Target creature's controller gains a 1/1 white Sheep token.
"I'm being very restrained, I'm not reading a book..."